Following His Footsteps
by Female-Fighter
Summary: Why can't I stop screaming your name at night? Your memory, Our memories won't stop haunting me. Sequel to Seeing Me Smile
1. Highways After Highschool

Chapter 1

**Highways After High school**

**Disclaimer- **I own nothing!

**Author's note**- The sequel to Seeing Me Smile, I don't see this being as long as the first one but then again I didn't except the first one to be as long as it was.

Kyouya laid in bed, as he had for the last two years. Every night he would wake up at the slightest sound, always hoping it was Tamaki. He hated living in his old house for the memories haunted everything he did. Though, for as much as he hated living there he couldn't leave. What if Tamaki came back or called, would he be given a way to contact him? Antoinette laid besides him sleeping peacefully. She had been a mess for weeks after he left. Kyouya had been the only one to finally get her to eat again, she rarely left his side when he was home.

_You gotta be out there_

_You gotta be somewhere_

_Wherever you are _

_I'm waiting_

_'Cause there are these nights when _

_I sing myself to sleep_

_And I'm hoping my dreams _

_Bring you close to me_

_Are you listening?_

"Tamaki where are you? Why did you leave?" He couldn't forget the day he came back from school and was handed the note from Shima. He had locked himself in Tamaki's room that night. Everything he could touch had been flipped over. Vases shattered on the walls. That night he had fallen asleep on the window sill, too many now painful memories laid on that bed. He made his new bed that window until he could force himself to sit then sleep on the sheets again. He never would have imagined that having a broken heart would hurt this much. It felt like a part of him left, only the empty shell was left. Shortly after the clock hit one his eyes shut for the night, as they had been lately. He needed a few hours of sleep, graduation was tomorrow, he had to look decent for it at the very least.

"Kyouya-senpai, congratulations on graduating today!" Haruhi ran up to him before he went to meet with the rest of his class. "How have you been?"

"Ah Haruhi, have any plans for the summer?"

She noticed his complete dodge of her question and he probably noticed that she knew as well.

"Same as the other summers, going to Mizuzu's. What about you? Do you have any plans?"  
"Not as of yet, I may take some summer courses at the University if anything."  
"Well good luck with that, I have to go meet Hikaru, he has my ticket to the ceremony. Mitsukuni and Mori-senpai should be there with them as well."  
"Until later then." He turned to walk down the remaining hall.  
"Kyouya-senpai. Have you heard from him at all?"  
Kyouya stopped and kept his back to her, "No he has never contacted me." With that he left her alone in the hall.

Kyouya stood on stage looking over the crowd, fellow graduates sat in the front, watching him, waiting for his speech as senior class president. Haruhi and the other members of the Host Club sat behind them. He thought he saw his sister next to Kaoru but wasn't positive about it. He saw her at least once a month after he had been kicked out. She was so worried he wasn't doing well on his own.

He took a deep breath internally before he spoke to the class for the last time. To them he was speaking strongly about their future, their goals, and their successes, it was hard for anyone to realize he didn't believe any of it. His future was sitting next to his father as they closed the transition between head and successor, and his other future was somewhere in America, possible graduating himself. He had no goals other then to find a job other then a shop clerk at minimum wage and he hadn't succeed at anything. He was disowned from his family, and lost the only person that made his pathetic life worth anything.

After the ceremony everyone went to the Hitachiin manor for dinner. The twins had insisted on throwing something for Kyouya whether he wanted it or not. He hadn't planned on doing anything but to go back to his place, he was finally content on being alone since it seemed like the fates had set it up that way for him. Unfortunately for him Fuyumi had been invited as well practically forcing him to go as well. He didn't say much, didn't have or want to.

_But it gets so lonely_

_Being on my own_

_No one to talk to_

_And no one to hold me_

_I'm not always strong_

_Oh, I need you here_

_Are you listening?_

"Kyouya since you have no plans this summer you should join Hiroshi."  
"Fuyumi how many times must I tell you, I'm not tagging along on his trips."  
"I know it's just that since you have no idea what you want your field of study to be, this could help you. Hiroshi is going to the States on business and he asked me to tell you in hopes you would accompany him."

"Fuyumi-san, Hiroshi-san is the CEO of the top car company here in Japan correct?" Haruhi was still trying to keep up with the whos who since everyone was always mentioning a big name anymore.  
"Yes he is, he has to go to the major car show that is taking place and while there he plans to close the deal for a manufacturing plant in New York."  
"New York? Isn't that where Tama-chan's family is set to open the new school?" Mitsukuni looked at Mori who nodded his head slightly, "Yea it is."  
Kyouya choked on the food he placed in his mouth. New York, that _was _where the new school had been set to open. Even though he hadn't found Tamaki on any records he still believed he was in New York somewhere. For two years he searched and debated going after him. Summer would come and go yet he wouldn't go. What if he did find him? What would he say? What could possibly be said? Did he really need to hear Tamaki tell him to let him go? That it was over, that past, all they went through was to be forgotten. Deep down as much as he didn't want to think it could be over he had to believe it. Tamaki had ended all communcations between them, left without talking to him about it. As much as he was scared to see him if he found him he knew he had to. He needed to say what had been on his mind for two years._ Why?_

_I need you to understand_

_Can you hear me?_

_I'm lost in my thoughts_

_I need you to see_

_I'm screaming for you to please _

_Hear Me_

_Hear Me_

"Think about it Kyouya and let me know, he isn't leaving until next week. Hiroshi really wants to help you make something great out of your life, your a smart boy and I hate to see you waste it."  
The others all agreed with her. They had all been affected by Tamaki's sudden decision to leave but none had been affected as badly as Kyouya, whether he wanted to admit it or not.

After dinner everyone sat and talked for awhile until Haruhi had to get going so she could leave for Karuizawa on time tomorrow. Kyouya used this time to leave as well.  
"I'll take you home Haruhi, my car can be here in ten minutes if you don't mind the wait."  
"That's fine, it beats walking or mass transit."  
With Mori and Mitsukuni back from school for the summer they decided to stay with the twins for a few days and catch up making it a stupid choice for their driver to take them home. Even with the laughter echoing the room it still felt quiet, empty. The owner of the loudest laughter wasn't here like he should be.

That night Kyouya sat in front of his laptop, checking the new sites for anything, just like any other night. After a few clicks he switched pages for the nearby airline.  
"Antoinette, I think it's time to get that idiot."

0o0o0o0o0

Okay, thoughts? Comments, suggestions? The coming chapters shall be better since I have those basically worked out. Please Review

~Femalefighter~


	2. Coming Across Countries

Chapter 2

**Coming across Countries**

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!

Kyouya stood outside the house watching Antoinette run around chasing a butterfly. Hiroshi was hopefully on his way so they could head to the airport. Once in New York he planned to do more searching while he had time. He did promise to help Hiroshi and it couldn't hurt to go to the show since it would be just like Tamaki to go where the "commoners" went. As he watched Antoinette play he felt bad for leaving her behind. The hotel didn't allow pets, he tried to hide his smile as he laughed at himself for worrying about her. It was hard to believe at one time he didn't want anything to do with her. As the car pulled up and his bag was placed in the trunk, she started whining at him. Afraid he was leaving her too.  
"I'll come back soon, and I'll have that idiot with me. You have my permission to attack him why you see him, and please make sure it hurts." A maid held her back as he entered the vehicle for fear she would jump in after him. Hiroshi started laughing as the car pulled away.  
"Cute dog, bet she will miss you while you are gone."  
"Yea most likely, but she'll be okay."

The ride to the airport didn't take long, nor did the wait to board. Kyouya was a little nervous, he wasn't sure what to expect. He could create no plan, he was doing this blindly something he hated doing no matter how rare that was. He had fourteen hours to worry no less, why did he agree to come to hastily?  
"Kyouya-kun, I am pleased you decided to accompany me. My usual travel partner had an urgent family matter leaving me to do this trip solo."  
"I'm honored that you are giving me this chance."  
"You know I am hoping that this trip will influence you to come join me one day." The playful tone he carried dropped. "I don't know nor care to know why Yoshio did what he did to you. If you are worried that you joining my business will effect my standing or the partnership with him, stop. He can not influence anyone without the reason going public. We both know he doesn't want unwanted press." Hiroshi had a point, his father never made it publicly known as to why he kicked him out. As far as the public was concerned Kyouya left on his own, for having no interest in the business and Yoshio was doing all he could to change that and bring him back.

The real reason was hidden behind that lie. That his father caught wind that Tamaki had been sick and Kyouya was taking care of him, which he didn't mind to a degree for he knew the closer the bond the less likely he had to worry about competing with Yuzuru. But he had caught the maids talking that Kyouya was becoming much closer to Tamaki. Never leaving his side, missing school, if it continued and rumors spread that Yoshio's youngest son was possibly gay it could cause problems for him. To solve that problem he eliminated it, if Kyouya was no longer an Ootori then that wouldn't be an issue.  
"Hiroshi-san I shall definitely use this trip to learn all I can so your decision to have me work for you won't be a mistake."  
"That's good to hear, once back in Japan I can show you more and I'm sure you can catch on quickly." He went through the folders in his briefcase, handing a few to Kyouya.  
"These are the models my company is debuting at the show, inside are all the specifics. Gas mileage, safety, features, extra features. Look them over so you have a general idea about what my company works with. I also doubt you've done much research on cars and don't know the names of many parts."  
Kyouya looked through the first folder, it was good he had fourteen hours. He was going to need that time to learn all he could about a topic he didn't have an interest in before.

If he could understand this then he planned on rising to the top of it. He was going to take his father down, somehow. He would rise above all the hardships, and he would have Tamaki at his side while doing it. Maybe that was his plan, maybe he shouldn't be planning on how to face Tamaki but how he was going to surpass his father. Once he was able to publicly embarrass Yoshio the rest would be easy, more or less. While he never expressed his hatred for his father with the others around, the few who knew the truth knew Kyouya hated him. He fully believed that had his father not decided to abandon him then Tamaki wouldn't have felt the desire to leave.

Deep down he couldn't shake the feeling that he had caused this separation. Tamaki may have acted on his feelings and his thoughts of what was right thing to do was but Kyouya's inability to see that this was something Tamaki would have done before it happened. What Tamaki did was exactly like him, how could he not have realized this was coming? This was the second time he was blind to the signs. First he didn't see the cutting, he didn't see through the lies and then he didn't see that his own issues were reason enough for Tamaki to think he had to leave. _"That's just like Tama-chan though, he always thinks of others before himself, no matter what it costs him. He thinks he is helping us by not making us sad." _Those words Mitsukuni had said when Tamaki had been in the hospital came back to him. He believed it then and he really felt their worth now.

Kyouya had shut his eyes halfway through the flight, the anger he held at himself wouldn't stop building and he could not afford to lose it here. He was horrible at being a friend, he didn't deserve the credit Tamaki gave him. He snapped his eyes open, quickly sitting up. Could that have been why he left? Had he gotten tired of Kyouya's forcefulness? He was always forcing Tamaki into things it seemed, as if he was trying to morph him into the type of person Kyouya was. Even if that wasn't what Kyouya wanted he still could have done it.

_Will he even want to take me back? I don't believe I would. Maybe I'll only make this worse. No, I have to find out, hear him say he hates me. Then it can be over._

"Are you alright Kyouya?"  
"Yes, it's fine."

_Was he really? Would he ever be okay?_

_0o0o0o0o_

_ I hate this!!! GAHH why is this so hard to write I have it all planned but this didn't come out how I wanted...or at least parts of it were. The plus, I got past it so I can write the coming chapters which hopefully will kick much more ass then the first too. Please Review :)_

_~Femalefighter~ _


	3. Answers in America

Chapter 3

**Answers in America**

**Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

Kyouya laid back on the bed, it felt nice to be on the ground again. He didn't hate flying nor was he scared of it but he always felt better once he was where he needed to go. He wasn't sure if he had much time to relax or if he had to go with Hiroshi anywhere. He was in the adjacent room, giving both men space and privacy and the closeness to say they were here for business. Kyouya got up slowly when he heard him knocking.  
"We can't do anything until tomorrow so feel free to do as you please until then. How good is your English?"  
"I should be okay on my own." He had learned enough while he was still living at home. His father had made sure all his sons could speak English so he wouldn't have to worry about them screwing him over, because of misunderstanding between languages.  
"Good to hear, then I'll see you tomorrow around 9."  
"Tomorrow at 9. Okay."

He stood by the door for a moment before walking back to the bed with his laptop in tow. He had no idea how Hiroshi was allowed to marry Fuyumi. He was relaxed, easy going. When he was first introduced to him he seemed so strict, and hardworking, not like he was now. He must really love his sister to go through the act. Well whatever the cause was it didn't really matter, this just made it easier for him to look around for signs of Tamaki. He flipped on the flat screen, searching for something to just be background noise. Local news was starting, that was perfect. They were talking about some scandal with a local politician. He stared back at his monitor for a moment, unsure where to start. He had no real leads to follow. He had looked into all private and public schools in the area around where the new school was being built with no mention of his name. Was he searching the wrong thing? He did a search in the local news databases on the new school.

*Bingo*

The net was filled with articles about it, must didn't look good.  
"Stories in the next half hour. Top trends at half the cost, sports with Scott Clark, and after the break continuing coverage about the protests surrounding the new private school set to open next fall on the Upper East Side." His head shot to the T.V. Just missing the little clip. He had only been in New York for a few hours and he may have already found what he couldn't back in Japan. The guilt of waiting so long crept back up. His lame excuses for not coming sooner. He had been stupid for letting the fear of rejection hold him back.

He scanned a few articles while the commercials rolled. They all said about the same thing. _Yuzuru Suoh, head of the Suoh line in Japan is causing a stir in New York. Protests started after talk of a new school became slated to open in the Upper East Side. The area will have to be zoned to handle a traffic increase. Local residents aren't happy with the new building for the land had been promised as a local playground. One resident who wished to stay unknown stated, "We already have three public school which are over crowded, and two private schools in the area we don't need another private school, we need more public so our children can get the proper education." _

Kyouya had stopped reading as the news came back on. So far he wasn't happy with what he was learning. Not surprised that even in America people were being angered. He knew the decision to spread Ouran out of Japan wasn't Yuzuru's. He had mentioned a few times that he traveled enough with hotel management and never planned on branching out unless Tamaki requested such a thing. No matter where she went people hated her, whether they knew it or not. "That woman is the devil in human form."

Kyouya kept one eye on the TV as he searched the web, digging deeper he knew he was close to finding what he wanted. Yuzuru was standing in the center of a podium in front of the closed school. He talked about not allowing the protests to set back the schools plans. Also that this school would help prepare others for life unlike the others that were designed for a specific field or around religion. Kyouya wsn't paying too much attention to what he said, for it didn't affect him much. Once he got Tamaki back to Japan with him this whole school thing could be pushed behind them.

There he was again thinking about when. When Tamaki came back, when he found out, when, when, when. He had no right to think when, only if. If Tamaki was found, if he wanted to go back. He had no right to assume Tamaki would go back.

As he tried to focus on the speech Yuzuru gave he noticed Tamaki wasn't there. He found it strange that he wouldn't be there. Could he really not be in New York? The note he was given said he left with his father not that he had to go work with his father. Maybe he was out West more. Kyouya had to talk to Yuzuru, he hadn't seen him in two years. He was hardly at Ouran and when he was Kyouya was engaged in something. Last week Yuzuru had attended graduation but left as soon as it was over. Kyouya could only guess it was to come here. He had to find out where the school was exactly. He finished browsing the article he was reading, nothing. Going back to redo the search he finally came across Tamaki's name. Searching more he found hopefully his current address. "Hampton..." he did slight research of the area. "If he would be anywhere it would be here." Quickly shutting his laptop and turning off the T.V. He grabbed his coat and prayed he could hail a cab.

Kyouya was pleased to find Hiroshi had hired a driver for them for the entirety of their stay. He didn't have enough Yen converted over for a three hour taxi ride. By the time he arrived it was early evening, the sun was starting to set. The hues of pink and orange gave the sky a beautiful light.

"Tamaki can you see this?" Slowly he walked to the door, making sure he didn't look as out of place as he felt. He had always been the calm and collected one, so then why didn't he feel like that now?

He took a deep breathe as he pushed the button for the doorbell. The song played longer then he thought most doorbells did but maybe this wasn't true, he was simply losing his mind. Finally the door opened he caught his gasp from ecaping, it wasn't Tamaki who opened the door. It was a woman around his age, long red hair going just below her shoulders. Deep brown eyes checking out the strange person at the door. She was slender, if Kyouya hadn't been paying attention to her face he might have thought this woman was Tamaki's mother.

"Can I help you sir? I don't remember seeing you around here before."

Somehow he was able to savage his voice from the back of his throat. His voice was even, calm just as he always spoke to someone.  
"Yes, I am looking for Tamaki Suoh, I was told I could find him here."  
Her eyes scanned his body again, she wasn't checking him out but she seemed to be looking for something.  
"I'm sorry Tamaki isn't here right now, and won't be back until sometime tomorrow. Shall I give him your name...Mr?"  
"Kyouya, yes please let him know I stopped by." He handed her a piece of paper from his coat pocket. "The number he can reach me with, I'll be in town for a little while, please have him call me."  
"Of course Kyouya I will let him know when he comes in."  
With that he turned and left to go back to the car. He wasn't sure how he felt, sad, upset, nervous? There wasn't a word to fully describe what this was. Getting back in the car he felt his body start to feel weak. His blood pressure was hitting low levels. He had skipped his meals today from nerves and it was finally catching up with him. Maybe he would call Hiroshi when he got closer so they could grab something.

The woman closed the door before opening the paper. _Kyouya Ootori,_with the numbers of what she guessed was the hotel. She crumbled the paper in her hand. Throwing it into the garbage can as she walked into the room towards the back.  
"Who was at the door?" A slender frame with bright blonde hair sat by the window sill, staring up at the hues of pink and orange coloring the sky. *_I wonder if Kyouya has ever seen a sunset like this?*_

"No one really, he had the wrong address." she stared as the lilac eyes moved from the sky to look at her for a moment before going back to the sky.

"Come Tamaki, let's go see what the chief made for dinner."

o0o0o0o

I rushed to type this before work, hope I proof read it okay. Please review.. Loving the review!! Making my day!!

~Femalefighter~


	4. Problems Before Paradise

Chapter 4

**Problems before Paradise**

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!

"Tamaki I'm sorry if I made you feel that you had caused me trouble. I should have to you what was going on."  
"No Kyouya, I messed up. I shouldn't have just left. We should have talked it over and worked it out. I've missed you and I know it's a lot to ask for, but can you take me back?"

Kyouya reached for the blondes hand. Letting his feelings for his other half take over, wrapping his arms around him.  
"Kyouya reached for the blondes hand. Letting his feeling for his other half take over, wrapping his arms around him.  
"Kyouya I..." a piercing noise cut through. Kyouya looked for the source and saw nothing, when he looked back Tamaki was gone.  
"Tamaki!" The noise sounded again, soon everything became fuzzy, he couldn't see straight anymore. Everything was dark, he could no longer see his hands in front of him. The noise went off again. Hos vision slowly started to come back, white light seeped in through the darkness.

Slowly the hotel room came into focus. Kyouya rolled over, seeing the bed empty. The piercing noise turning out to be his room phone.  
"Who the hell is calling me?" He sat up, reaching over for the phone. "This better be important."  
"Good morning Mr. Ootori, this is your wake up call as you requested."

He forgot he had placed a wake up call in when he got back last night. He had already figured out he wouldn't sleep well.  
"Thank you." He hung up the phone and stayed still on the bed. _It was just a dream?_ His hands still had the impression of Tamaki's hand. Standing he tried to clear his mind. He had nine full days ahead of him, he couldn't afford to blow this opportunity. He needed a clear head, Tamaki would call when he got the chance. He had found him, soon they could talk and clear any troubles. It would all work out, somehow he would get it to work. He flipped on the T.V. Looking to see if they had a music station. He didn't care for news now, he had to get ready and if it was on he would probably watch it. The first XM channel he found he stayed on. He stopped short from the closet as the music played.

_In my daydreams, in my sleep,_

_infatuation turning into disease._

_You could cure me, all you have to do now_

_is try._

_Give it your best shot and try._

_All I'm asking for is love,_

_but you never seem to have enough._

He started walking to the bathroom, the dream was coming back. He had to shake it off, he had things to do, a lot to learn.

_I gotta feel you in my bones again, _

_I'm all over you_

_I'm not over you._

_This life is way to short_

_to get caught up in this stuff_

_when I just want you to love me back,_

_why can't you just love me back?_

He made the water as hot as he could handle, he needed to the past, the dream, and the song out of his head. He needed to stop thinking about it. What if he moved on? Kyouya couldn't breakdown, he couldn't be upset on the outside. He finished up in the bathroom and walked back to get dressed he wanted to hurry so he could eat something, he couldn't pass out today from low anything. He had to look sharp, show he was worth hiring.

He was finishing up getting dressed when there was a knock on the door, not Hiroshi's room.  
"Room service!" He opened the door and sure enough a cart with food was there. That solved on problem. "Also I have a note for you." He handed the note to him as he walked past to push the cart inside the room.

_I ordered you room service so you don't have to rush. See you in the lobby at 9. If you could tip the person, I'll pay you back later._

_~Hiroshi~_

He smirked at the note, he was really getting used to Hiroshi. He was easy to get along with, he reminded him of Tamaki. He stopped short as he was opening his wallet. _Tamaki_ he shook the thought from his mind, and payed the man who then walked out. Kyouya opened the tray grabbing a piece of toast. He choked on it as he tuned the T.V back in so he could listen to something for a little bit. He cursed himself for picking the wrong time to listen in.

_Ten miles from town and I just broke down_

_Spittin' out smoke on the road_

_I'm out here alone just tryin' to get home_

_To tell you I was wrong but you already know_

_Believe me I won't stop at nothin' _

_To see you so I've started runnin'_

_All that I'm after is a life full of laughter_

_As long as I'm laughing with you_

_I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after_

_After the life we've been through_

_'Cause I know there's no life after you._

That's it he couldn't wait any longer. He grabbed his phone next to his bed, and the card with the important numbers. 411 looked like the right one.  
"State and zip code, or address."

He gave the automated voice Tamaki address.  
"The number is 631-324-7103, do you want to call that number?"  
"Yes!"

He waited as the phone rang, hoping Tamaki was in, or that woman didn't pick up. Something about her didn't sit right with him.

"Hello?" Well it wasn't Tamaki, but it wasn't that woman either.  
"Hello, is this the residence of Tamaki, Suoh?"  
"Yes it is, unfortunately he just left for the day but he should be back around seven."  
"Could you please have him call me when he gets in?" He gave her both his cell phone and hotel room number. He wasn't sure his cell would work but he wanted to try.

"And who shall I called?"  
"An old friend from Japan. He will know."  
"Of course, I'll make sure he gets this."  
"Thank you." They said their good-byes, he hung up with a good feeling about this. Whoever that woman was would tell Tamaki, he didn't have to worry. Something about the sound of her voice, pleased but there was something else as well. What was it? He looked at the clock and with one last bite from the tray he walked out of the room. He would figure it out tonight when he talked to Tamaki.

When he arrived at the Jacob Javitis Center he was surprised by the line of people waiting to get in.  
"Don't worry we don't have to wait, this is just for attendees, we get to wait in a much shorter line."

The car dropped them off in front, the glass design gave off the impression of an odd structure. He couldn't put it into actual words for it wasn't cubed it seemed oblong-ed. No, that wasn't even the right word for it.

"I love this design it's simple yet so complex wouldn't you say?"  
Kyouya nodded, Hiroshi was right it seemed so simple yet complex. Perhaps that's why he couldn't put a word to it., he had been looking at it from an entirely different angle. The inside was relatively simple. Big open spaces, white tile floor, the carpeting only under the cars. The only division of rooms was large steel bars that created an archway.  
"Through that large archway are concept cars. I have a few there for it helps business in the future. If the consumer knows where the company is headed they are more likely to buy from them now and later. Every car that you see here by us now are cars set to be released next year or the end of this year."  
Kyouya followed him to the right side of the "room" they were in. He really wasn't sure what he could call it since there was no doors or walls to divide sections just signs.  
"The nine cars you see here are all from my company. That folder I gave you earlier are all their specs which are listed off to the side here. One for every vehicle."  
He did his best to remember the key differences to each however slight they might be.

"For the next two days I'll be doing a conference, talking about all the cars here, I want you to sit in on them and learn as much as you can."  
"Yes sir, I'll be sure to do that."  
"Wonderful, the first one is at two so you have time to walk the floor." He pointed to a hallway about fifty feet from there. "Down that hall in room J-650 is where I'll be speaking."  
He nodded his head as Hiroshi left him to wander. He had no clue where to start, he wasn't sure who top companies where here or what car everyone couldn't wait to see. Soon the crowd from outside was pouring in, Kyouya slid in with them, trying to see where they went.

After a few hours Kyouya was able to get a feel for everything. Pretty soon he had to head to the room to hear Hiroshi. As he entered he noticed a seat reserved for him. Taking the few minutes he had to wait he grabbed his phone from his pocket. He wasn't surprised by the lack of signal, he noticed earlier that the 'show floor' as he learned it was called was below the main road outside. For fear of killing the battery before the end of the night he shut it off, he wasn't going to miss anything anyway.

After the two hour conference both got ready to leave for the night. Hiroshi had no further business there until tomorrow.  
"Did you learn a lot today? I hope I didn't scare you from my offer."  
"No sir, I learned a lot and I shall deeply consider your offer."

"Good, very good, tomorrow will run slightly different I believe, I'll let you know tomorrow. Also we will have Sunday off. Then during the week you shall be accompanying me with a factory deal then the last two days of the show, next Saturday and Sunday another panel is set for me and if you feel comfortable enough you shall join me to help answer questions."  
"I shall do my best to prepare for it then. Do I need to know anything for the business deal?"  
"No I'll take care of it, but, well you know that you never go to close a deal alone."  
That was true, it was typical business practice to always have another person accompany you. He took out and restarted his phone to add the events into the planner. He stopped for a moment when a message appeared on his phone.

_*You have one new message.*_

Who could that be trying to reach him? It was probably the twins trying to invite him to a get together or telling him their plans to go see Haruhi for a few days as they did last year. He nearly slipped the phone from his fingers as a nervous, strained voice came from the phone.  
"Hello Kyouya...it's been a while hasn't it? I hope are here for a while, hopefully we can talk,to...catch up. Let me know what's good for you, okay? Um, I'll be home for the next few days so call me when you get the chance. Talk to you soon...hopefully." He saved the message and hung up. Maybe he was just nervous because they hadn't talked in years but Tamaki didn't sound like himself. He prayed he was okay, he would make sure to call him back as soon as he could back to the hotel room.

"Everything okay Kyouya?"  
He straightened his posture and slipped the phone back into his pocket.

"Everything is fine."

0o0o0o0o0o0

_ Soon you'll get your wish I swear. I don't know why but I liked being really mean to Kyouya, I mean I recently became a huge fangirl of him but I still need to make him suffer...I'm sooo evil. The songs were All over me by the Spill Canvas and Life after you by Daughtry. Daughtry's two albums mostly fit this story so I had to add at least one. Hope you enjoyed, please review. :)_

_~Femalefighter~_


	5. Down with Dreaming

Chapter 5

**Down with Dreaming**

**Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

Kyouya sat in the back of the car. He couldn't say he wasn't a little nervous. Ever since he called Tamaki on Friday he couldn't calm down. Worried about how it would go, would Tamaki be happy to see him? Would he have changed much? What would they talk about? If they talked about what happened would it turn out okay? The more he thought about what was coming the more of the past crept up. Nothing was stopping these thoughts for he had hours to dwell on them.

0o0o0o0o0

The morning after Tamaki left Kyouya used all his will power to push off the window sill where he fell asleep looking up at the night sky. It took everything he had to get dressed and go to Ouran. His drive to go was Yuzuru, he wanted to go talk to him but he wasn't in. He was on business. Annie-Sophie was upset that Tamaki had left so hastily as well but kept her emotions in control, being solid ground for Kyouya. Someone she called her second son. Kyouya kept his phone near him, hoping Tamaki would call. He prayed he would come back, maybe this was just a dream, soon he would wake up. Kyouya hadn't been there as much as he should have but they could have talked it out.

_I sat by the phone today, waiting for you to call so I _

_Could pick it up and say hello to you and you would say hello to me_

_Just like my dreams._

_Is there a reason why you're gone, I didn't mean to be so wrong._

_I tried so hard to be the best that I could be, but still it seems_

_I always end up alone._

He never told the others until his junior year. He thought about it, the words would never come, not without the pain attached. Why can't I stop screaming your name at night? Your memory, our memories won't stop haunting me. For as tough as he seemed to the ones around him, Annie- Sophie saw through him. She stayed in Japan until she was completely sure he was going to be okay. Once she left she would call once a week, a call he would look forward to every week. He owed her a lot, that first week was hard, she had forced him to break down. She would always say something to upset him, make him yell. He knew he cursed while he vented, saying things a mother should ever hear. Yet, no matter what was said though she would always stand up, grab his shoulders, and pull him close to her. No matter how loud he got, how mad he was, her hugging him with just gentleness always made him cry. All he had been taught growing up seemed to disappear when she grabbed him. Her touch was the same as his, if he closed his eyes, Tamaki would always be the one he felt...Tamaki...

He stared at the night sky, finding peace with the darkness it carried. Was this what he felt? Is this why he stayed in a dark room as long as he could? You could see nothing in the dark, dreams seemed to roam free. The truth didn't seem so real when the light wasn't blinding your eyes. For as much as it hid, so much was left uncovered. Your mind never resting. Every question that was left unanswered, always repeating and echoing through your mind.

_Did I not give you enough room, was I overtaking you._

_And did my love for you just blind me from what I was doing wrong._

_I never meant you harm._

_Or was I not good enough for you, is that the reason why we're through_

_Was I not half the man you thought I would be but now you see_

_Is that why you leave me, is that why you leave me._

When Annie-Sophie got ready to leave to go back to France she offered for Kyouya to join her. He had thought about it, going with her, stating new. Yet he couldn't go something was pulling him to stay where he was no matter how much he wasn't crazy about it.  
"When your ready you'll find him and you both will smile again." With that she boarded her plane.

0o0o0o0

He snapped back into reality, he was close to the house. He opened the phone debating if he should call to say he would be there shortly. He learned it was common practice to do so, not that he was even sure Tamaki followed it. He closed his phone and stuck it back in his pocket, Tamaki wouldn't get his chance to back out.

The car pulled up and the driver let him out. He walked up the stairs to the door. He couldn't get over the doorbell. It seemed just like Tamaki to have something so obnoxious. A woman opened the door, it wasn't the woman from the last time, this one was older. Her hair was held tightly back, specs of gray shone in her hair.

"You must be Mr. Ootori, correct?"  
"Yes, I am."  
"Please come in and I'll take you to him." The house was bright, spacious and filled with decor from France and Japan. He past what looked like a living room. A white grand piano sat in the middle of the room surrounded by windows. A bay window, he believed it overlooked out back. Probably held a beautiful view, actually every window probably held a beautiful view. From what he gathered the Hamptons held some of the nicest houses. They walked past a few more rooms before going outside.

"Tamaki, sir, Mr. Ootori is here." Tamaki looked up from the seat he was in. A large red wood hung over him covering him in complete shade. Kyouya really wished she would drop the Ootori, he had long since discarded that name, though he was still in the process of making it official. Tamaki slowly stood up. He looked the same, maybe thinner but over all he hadn't changed. Tamaki stayed where he was for a moment, letting his eyes take in what they missed seeing for so long.

"I'm glad your here Kyouya." Tamaki's voice was cracking as he fixed his hair. Kyouya noticed the long sleeves, even though the temperature was fairly high. Kyouya had brought short sleeves with him in case of this kind of weather.  
"Tamaki I'm going out with the girls, I'll be back later." The woman Kyouya met the last time came out from inside and stopped upon setting eyes on Kyouya.  
"Elizabeth, this is Kyouya Ootori, we went to school together back in Japan. I invited him to spend the day so we could catch up since I heard he was in the country for a few days." She quickly walked over to Tamaki and wrapped her arms around him.  
"Oh that's so nice, I hope you enjoy it." her voice was soft but Kyouya could easily detect how phoney every word was. How could Tamaki not see that? She released Tamaki and extended her right hand out for Kyouya, who took it, though he hadn't even felt like even bowing his head to her.  
"It's a pleasure, Ms...?"  
"Elizabeth Rockefeller, it's so nice to meet someone from Tamaki's past."

Kyouya looked down at her hand, "Is that ring a Tacori? from the heirloom collection if I'm not mistaken."

She removed her hand to admire the ring.  
"Yes it is, what a sharp eye."  
"Well congratulations to you both." He tried his best to sound happy, hoping it worked, for right now all he wanted to do now was leave. She smiled her fake smile as she turned to Tamaki, "I'm going to be late, see you later." She ran back into the house. Neither said a word for what seemed like an eternity. Tamaki broke the silence by stepping closer to Kyouya, though still giving him plenty of space. "I have an office inside, let's go talk in there." He held the door to the house open then walked up the stairs to the middle of the hallway where the office was. As Kyouya walked past Tamaki to walk in first he heard Tamaki whisper.  
"I am, really glad to see you."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Why do I get the feeling a few people are upset with me for above text :) I need to thank Quinalee for the songs...I'm soo hooked on them. This chapter is short, and I have a feeling the next one will be too... you'll see why. Well leave some love, or hate, whichever you feel is better.

~Femalefighter~


	6. Following His Footsteps

Chapter 6  
**Following His Footsteps**

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!

Kyouya looked around the room, books and pictures were on the shelves. He stayed standing, though he was offered a seat. He couldn't look at Tamaki, he felt that if he did he would say something. Something he would regret later. He couldn't even remember why he wanted to come here in the first place.

_From when I wake in the morning till I go and fall asleep each night_

_I fight to hold onto a love that is inside_

_Because my past is like a nightmare that I never can escape_

_And I can't wait till I wake up so I can fall back asleep_

"How are the others? You graduated right? Where are going to study next?" Tamaki blurted out stupid questions, questions he knew Kyouya didn't care to hear.  
"I guess they are alright. I haven't seen much of them since we decided to close the club. I know the twins and Haruhi stayed good friends."  
"You disbanded the host club?"  
"It was decided at the start of my junior year." He didn't want to talk this, other things needed to be brought up. "Why do you care what we decided?! You left so suddenly, never contacted anyone. Just dropped us from your life!"  
"I thought that if I came here, everything would work out better for you. My thought was that if I left you alone your father wouldn't come down on you. You had done so much for me but in the end I ended up messing up everything."  
"Well you leaving solved nothing..." he stopped talking, Tamaki looked on the verge of tears. He was hiding something. "What did you do?!" His voice snapped, he was too angry to want to console him but he still found himself fighting the urge. Tamaki walked to the window watching the waves roll on and off shore.  
"When I arrived here I was fine, after my first month I started feeling so home sick. School was so hard, everyone seemed to shun me, they all had groups that were unlike what I knew." He pressed his head against the window, "I thought about getting on the next plane for Japan and going back..."  
"What stopped you?" Kyouya felt bad for being happy that life here hadn't been perfect. While he wasn't jumping for joy, for his heart wasn't that cold. Not to Tamaki anyway, he was happy to hear Tamaki had been affected by the distance.  
"I didn't think you would take me back, and I couldn't ask you too either. Not after what I did to you." He got up and moved closer to Kyouya. "I am sorry, for everything. Being here is a mistake and if I had been able I would have told you that sooner."  
"You had my number, how were not able?" Tamaki stopped his advance.  
"I tried but your number wouldn't go through. No ones number would work. I would always get the same message, everyone's cell phone and house phone was blocked."  
"Tamaki, answer this for me...are you happy now? Can you look to tomorrow with that smile I knew you to have or is that gone?"  
He shoved his hands in his pockets and sat at the corner of his desk.  
"I haven't done _that_, if that answers your question." He pulled out his hands and looked at his sleeves. "'My scars would be bad publicity', or so I was told."

They didn't say anything for a little while. Neither wanted to bring up what needed to be said. Both feared a horrible ending, one that could mean the end of everything. Soon it became no longer avoidable.

_And I don't understand what happened between you and me but_

_You will probably end up with someone half as good as me so_

_I don't care if you want to look me in the eyes and say hello_

_You were blind to me now I'm blind to you, no_

"Tamaki, do you love her? You seemed so uncomfortable when she was...near your earlier."  
"Come outside with me, I want you to see the sunset here. It's nice, I have always wanted you to see it." They walked out of the room and outside. The sun was just starting to set, the sky starting it's change of colors. Tamaki led the way to the corner of the backyard. They leaned against a fence and watched the ocean. The sun set the sky on fire. Both looked out over the water. Kyouya loved the smell, the breeze, the view. The ocean always seemed to relax him. Tamaki stood so close it was like before, before he left. He watched him from the corner of his eye. He seemed so relaxed. Yet so unsure, Tamaki hadn't changed at all since he last saw him.

Tamaki slid his hand into Kyouya's as he continued to stare out into the horizon.  
"I don't." Kyouya looked at him, confusion covered his face.  
"I don't love Elizabeth, our engagement was only arranged so no shame would come to my name. I just can't fall in love with her, she is really kind, and crazy at times but my feelings don't change. There are times I have to force myself to really look like I'm in love. Why is it so hard? I don't know why I can't seem to look at any girl with the thought of having a relationship with them." Kyouya squeezed Tamaki's hand, something to help the troubled mind. " Kyouya how can I marry her, and have the honeymoon night she is planning when the thought scares me instead of it exciting me?"  
"Tamaki, maybe you will never fall in love with her, or any girl for that matter."  
"What are you saying Kyouya?"  
"Tamaki has it ever crossed your mind that maybe you aren't into women? Back at the host club you never had true feelings for any of the girls correct?"  
"It has crossed my mind, many times but Kyouya this can't happen. If I mess this up I will have nothing. I need to be able to support myself, Kyouya we both know our families would look down on us for being gay. My father doesn't care, he as told me that, not so forward but he has suggested it. This marriage is at the call of my grandmother, she wants to make sure I don't ruin anything, that I don't follow in the footsteps of my father. If she found about me, anyone I wanted to be with she would ruin!"  
"So you marry Elizabeth, someone whom you have no feelings for just to please your Grandmother?!" What will you do in ten years when you find someone you do care for, you'll be ten times more likely to follow the footsteps of your father by doing this!"  
"How?!"  
"Tamaki you are here right now because your father was forced to marry someone he didn't love! Does this marriage not send up alarms for you?"  
"But, I can't just back out now, can I? I mean it's not fair to Elizabeth, she did save my life..." he stopped realizing what he said. Kyouya caught what he said though and pulled him close.  
"I thought you said you never did anything?" Tamaki wrapped his arms around Kyouya's waist to dig his face into his chest. Kyouya could feel his shirt becoming wet from the person that was still a boy in his eyes. He pulled him closer, he missed this, he may have been angry at Tamaki but he was still in love with him. There was no doubt in his mind, Tamaki was the only person his heart would beat for.

_So now I wait for a moment when I know that there is no one left to see_

_All the hurt that's inside me and the reason that I need_

_I need to let go of things I see that have always let me fall_

_And I can't find my way home no cause I'm already home._

"Tamaki what happened, please don't push me away anymore." Tamaki slowly moved his hands away and stepped back. He looked out over the water as he wiped away the tears he was still shedding.  
"Elizabeth had just been introduced to me, she is my neighbor actually. I had been depressed from missing Japan, the Host Club, and especially you. I couldn't take it anymore so I decided that I would just let the pain end, forever. I stood here one night, just like this and planned to jump off the edge. Drown myself, quick and simple, no real planning. So I did, I jumped. Elizabeth had just been taken to the back yard by the housekeeper when she saw me step off the edge. Her body guard was with her and she had him jump in after me." He stopped, Kyouya was frozen. He tried not to believe the words Tamaki spoke. Had he really tried to commit suicide? Could that attempt have been prevented if he came sooner?  
"She saved my life, I wasn't planning on fighting the waves, or worrying about the rocks for nothing mattered to me anymore. I had lost it all in my mind." Kyouya could say nothing, he was at such a loss for words. He just pulled Tamaki close, holding tightly, scared he would fade away if he let go. The sky spread around them, a picture even the most famous of artists couldn't paint to capture all of it's color.

Both shed tears, ones that had been buried deep within for so long.

Tamaki pulled apart first, but not before leaning in to steal a long over due kiss. He quickly pulled away, realizing what he did.  
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that, I had no right."  
"Why? I'm not."

During dinner Kyouya told him all of his job offer. He wanted Tamaki to know that he was doing well, and could provide for him if he wanted him to. After Kyouya decided to start to head back into the city. He needed to be fully rested for the meeting tomorrow. He stood by the door ready to leave for the night.  
"Thank you for coming here Kyouya, to take time from your limited free time to spend it here with me. I hope the rest of your business trip goes well. When do you have to fly back to Japan?"  
"I leave next Monday, after the car show closes. Tamaki, come with me. Come back to Japan with me, let's pick up where we left off." He said nothing at first, when he went to open his mouth Kyouya stopped him. "I leave late Monday so think about it, I'll come back Monday for your answer." With that he walked into his car, the driver got in and pulled away leaving Tamaki alone to think in the doorway.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

_ Okay I hope you can forgive me for what I did the last chapter. I had to do it, I had planned on it from the start. I really like making Kyouya suffer...like really, really suffer. :) The song is The Moment by Safetysuit. Another fine choice by Quinalee. Also while I was writing this How do you sleep, by Jesse McCartney started playing...think about chapter 5 while listening to it....it's pretty awesome! Leave some feedback in the reviews. This story is quickly coming to a close. *sob, sob***** I have fallen in love with this story and I will miss it when it's done. Thanks again._

_~Femalefighter~_


	7. Hangup at Home

Chapter 7

**Hangup at Home**

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!

Author's note- This is the last chapter....*sob*. It is sad to see it come to an end, I love this story so much.

Kyouya focused hard on business. He needed to make sure he helped Hiroshi's image. One wrong word could screw him up. He didn't have much to do, first meeting was held at some five star restaurant he never heard of. That wasn't to hard, as the week went on he explored the factory. He learned about the employees, what the equipment could handle. All major and minor details were brought up. The more he learned the more confident he became. He could handle this, he would work for Hiroshi and allow for Tamaki and himself to live comfortably.

Tamaki, soon they would be together, he never thought he would feel this way towards him but he did. And he welcomed it. No one would ever make him feel this way, make him as happy.

Back at the hotel at night he would open the note he got when Tamaki left. He found the one person that captured his heart, just like Tamaki had hoped for.

The plane was set to leave at nine at night Monday. That gave Kyouya plenty of time to get Tamaki and get to the airport to meet Hiroshi for the flight. It just had to be Monday already so they could leave. They could leave this country, Tamaki could move away from the pain and memories he had from being here. To see his smile, one full of excitement and bliss was all Kyouya really wanted. Every thing else was secondary.

"Well Kyouya today is the last day of the show, I think so far it has been successful, what do you say?"  
"If the inquires I've gotten about some of the models and the new deal you closed indicates a success then yes, I do believe it was successful."  
"Kyouya I believe this is the start of a good business relationship between us." Hiroshi stuck out his hand, Kyouya couldn't help but smirk back as he shook the waiting hand. The decision to come here was the right one, maybe that's why he could never before, he seemed to be always be missing something. Sunday night he called Tamaki to tell him he would be there around three so they would have time to get to the airport without rushing to make the flight. Tamaki wasn't in, he apparently had dinner plans with Yuzuru. He laid back on the bed, allowing the radio on the TV to relax him. He had nothing to worry about anymore, everything was working out the way he hoped. He leaned over and dialed out of the country. After calculating in his mind the time difference. He was pushing it but he hoped it would be okay.

A quiet voice came on the line, he hoped he didn't wake her. "Annie-Sophie, I'm sorry for calling so late, I hope I didn't wake you."  
"Oh Kyouya, I'm glad you called I've been thinking about you. How is the business trip going?"  
"It has gone very well, thank you...Annie-Sophie I was wondering if your offer was still open. Nothing long term just for a week or so?"  
"Of course your welcome here as long as you want, do you have something planned?"  
"Yes, I believe I do, but I don't want to keep you from sleep so I'll talk to you when I get back to Japan."  
"If you insist. Oh Kyouya, I take it that by the excitement in your voice you found him?" Kyouya fixed his position. He didn't think he changed his tone any from what he used everyday. "I can just tell." She started laughing over the phone. "Mothers can tell even the slightest change in anything. I will await your call and will start having the house arranged for you both to come and stay."  
Kyouya finally recovered from the surprise question and answered. "Thank you, I'll talk to you soon, good-night." She laughed as she hung up the phone, he just sat there trying to figure out how she figured it out. Did he really sound different? He thought about it as he packed his clothing back up for tomorrow. The music channel wasn't playing anything he normally listened to but he somehow found it easier to do what he had to do with it playing. That night as he tried to sleep he kept it on, it was low but it helped his mind slow down enough so he could settle into a peaceful state and fall asleep.

_Something wasn't right. He could hear a faint noise, music perhaps but he could see nothing. This darkness made his heart race, as if the shadows held something. Suddenly he could see an outline, another person maybe. His eyes fought through the darkness to make out the outline. "Tamaki?" his voice sounded so scared, unsure. He hardly recognized it as his own. He forced his feet to move closer, taking it one step at a time for fear of uneven ground. If there was any ground beyond him. The music became clearer you could hear words. He pushed forward, finally reaching out he touched the shoulders to go through them.  
"What the hell?! What is going on?!" Tamaki turned and walked away, as if ignoring that Kyouya was there. "Tamaki! Come back!"_

_Wrap me in a bolt of lightning_

_Send me on my way still smiling_

_Maybe that's the way I should go,_

_He pushed forward to run after him, the singers voice got louder._

_Straight into the mouth of the unknown. _

_I left the spare key on the table _

_Why couldn't he catch up? Were was he? Why were tears falling? He tried to move faster though he felt as if he wasn't moving at all. As he pushed his legs to move faster he tripped over them. He hit the floor and stopped. What was this place, why couldn't he leave? Why couldn't he see? *Tamaki, why?* The singers voice echoed through him, he didn't want to believe that the words meant anything._

_Never really thought I'd be able to say_

_I merely visit on the weekends_

_I lost my whole life and a dear friend_

"_Tamaki..." the tears fell faster. "Tamaki..." his voice grew from the hushed whisper. "TAMAKI!"_

Kyouya snapped up, his breathing heavy, his face wet from tears, some still falling. He looked at the TV seeing it still on.

_I've said it so many times_

_I would change my ways_

_No, nevermind_

_God know I've tried_

He got up and turned it off, he calmed down slightly, now knowing where the music came from in his dream. But still, something didn't seem right. Why couldn't he shake it? Did this hold some meaning? He went into the bathroom to wash his face. That dream didn't make any sense. Why was Tamaki there but not really? Why was he in complete darkness? He dried off his face and walked back into the other room. He sat on the edge of the bed before collapsing on the back of it. He was thinking too much into it. His mind was using the song to play with the fears he had, that's all. He crawled back to his pillow and tried to fall back asleep, using the logic that it was nothing to worry about. Soon everything would be okay.

Soon Kyouya was sitting in the back of the car, off to get Tamaki. The trip wasn't one he particularly liked, it was too long. Not as long as the one he had coming up but it was still a pain. He would deal with it though for this was the last time he would be coming here. He was surprised by the amount of traffic to get to the bridge, but maybe this was the first time he actually noticed it. He couldn't day dream, he was worried that the darkness would come back. Even after he woke up again it stayed with him. He had been on edge all day. He knew though that once he saw Tamaki it would go away. Why did this trip have to take so long?

Finally he arrived, he stepped out of the car and sighed. He shielded his eyes from the bright sun that shone today. He made his way to the door. The housekeeper opened it and let him in.  
"Tamaki is in his office, if you would like you could wait for him here."  
"I don't mind going to him." She nodded and led the way to the office. Kyouya froze as he stepped in. He recognized the song from his dream, why did he feel like crying again?  
"Kyouya are you okay?" Tamaki stood up and met him at the door where he was frozen solid. Why couldn't he answer, move?

_Call me a sinner, call me a saint_

_Tell me it's over I'll still love you the same_

_Call me your favorite, call me the worst_

_Tell me it's over I don't want you to hurt_

_It's all that I can say. So, I'll be on my way._

"Kyouya , speak to me, what's wrong?" He shook his head to clear it and walked over to the stereo turning it off.

"Sorry but I can't hear that song right now."  
"That's fine, I was switching stations when you got here and I just stopped at wherever I was."  
"Are you ready to go. Traffic is terrible and we need to make sure we are at the airport in plenty of time. Security is a pain from what I gathered."

Tamaki closed the door and kept his back to Kyouya.  
"You _are _coming with me, aren't you Tamaki?" He tried to keep his voice strong though it felt like it was suddenly bottoming out.  
"I'm so sorry Kyouya."  
"What? Why won't you come with me?!"His voice cracked, he couldn't keep his mask up any longer.  
"This is my home now, and I can't back out from my promise to Elizabeth." He couldn't face Kyouya. He knew he was probably breaking his heart, he knew his was.  
"You don't even love her! How could this be the best choice for you?!"  
"I'm sorry Kyouya but I can't go, I'm sorry for making you come all this way, I'm sorry for everything." Somehow he was managing to hold back the tears that his eyes were flooding with.

"Is this really it Tamaki? You can't be serious. You hated being here, you said coming was a mistake. How can this be what you want?"

"I don't expect you to understand, just trust me, this is what I want. I think you should go, I don't want you to miss your flight."

Kyouya tightened his fists, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Where was this coming from?  
"Fine! I'll go, and next time you decide to jump do us both a favor and fucking jump!" With that he pushed Tamaki back and left the room, trying not to physically run from the house. Tamaki fell to his knees, crying in his hands as he heard the front door slam shut. That was it, Kyouya was gone. Forever out of his life. Did he really make the right choice? Suddenly he didn't think so, he couldn't chase after him, not after this. This really was the end. He couldn't handle this, the biggest mistake of his life. He looked up, through his blurry vision, an old samurai sword hung above his head. Using the wall he stood up to get his hands around it. He closed his eyes as he lifted it above his head.

"I love you Kyouya." Tears rolled down his cheeks as he brought the sword down.

"Master Tamaki!"

Kyouya got in the car, realized Tamaki wasn't behind him, and snapped at the driver to go. And the more space he put between them the better though as the gap increased so did his pain. He cried in his hands. The anger inside pouring out through his eyes. This was it, he never he would see Tamaki again. Not only for the fact that he told him to go through with any thoughts he had, no matter how horrible they might be but, also for the fact that he wouldn't be able to handle it. To see both of them together would always be too much, even if it was a forced love at least it was something.

_I finally put it all together,_

_But nothing really lasts forever_

_I had to make a choice that was not mine, _

_I had to say goodbye for the last time._

By the time he got to the airport he got himself to stop the tears but he knew he looked horrible. Inside the car he tried to reduce the puffiness under his eyes. He grabbed his bag from the driver and walked in looking for Hiroshi. When he found him he could tell Hiroshi wanted to ask if Tamaki was coming but he saw Kyouya's face and decided not to. He was grateful he didn't for he was able to put his mask up but he didn't know how long it would last.

He stared out the window as the plane took off, he couldn't wait to leave New York. For some it was the city of dreams, for him it was the city of nightmares and if he ever came back it would to soon. Maybe he would go to be with Annie-Sophie for a while. No. He couldn't right now. This horrible pain he felt inside, what was this? He got up for fear he was going to be sick. When he got back Hiroshi was concerned for him.

"Are you okay?"  
He nodded and decided it was going to lie down for a while. Once Hiroshi fell asleep he grabbed the blanket he was given and curled up under it as best he could. The hole he felt inside him felt a little better the tighter he was. As a ball he felt as if he could hold himself together. After many failed attempts he was finally able to let sleep take over.

He stood outside looking at his house. Once he was working for Hiroshi and had enough saved up he would move far from this place. Slowly he walked in, a maid was fixing up something. "Master Kyouya your back. I hope your trip went well."  
"Everyone on staff today can go home for the next few days."  
"Sir, are you okay?"  
"I don't want anyone here got that?! Everyone can leave!" He walked into the living room, slamming the door closed behind him. The maid walked to tell the others, to see if they should listen. Kyouya slid down the door, with his knees to his chest he cried. He didn't want to see anyone, he just wanted to be alone and cry. He didn't care if the hole in his chest swallowed him, nothing mattered anymore. He just wanted to roll over and die.

The sun was starting to set for it's light warmed his head. He lifted his face from his pants as Antoinette started barking. The doorbell rang. He wasn't going to get it, whoever it was would just have to leave. Antoinette got louder as the doorbell rang again, he thought he heard someone knock as well. Slowly he stood as he tested his legs ability to stand. It was probably Fuyumi, she wouldn't stop till he answered. He opened the living room door and saw no one, good they all left. At least he didn't have to worry about them. Antoinette ran to him and back to the door. "I know, someone doesn't get the hint." After he unlocked the bolt he took a breath as he opened the door. To prepare himself for Fuyumi's presence, he would try his best not to snap at her, though he would make no promises.

"When I was in America someone told me, home is where the heart is, and I realized as you slammed the door to leave that I left my heart here; with you."  
Kyouya could say nothing, his emotions were swirling inside.  
"I know I'm asking you to forgive me and I don't know if this goes for both of us but as soon as I allowed you to walk away my life was over. You're all I have ever needed but I was too scared to accept it. So I kept pushing it away. If you can't forgive me then I will go and you won't have to worry about me ever hurting you again." Tamaki stood in the doorway as strong as he could be, waiting for an answer.  
"Tamaki, your not completely to blame. I assumed that you would just drop all you had to come back."  
"I was ready to, the day you came, that first time I saw you after not for years I was ready to forget it all. Yet, I was so scared, scared that if I did, something would happen, something that could never be undone. I believe that once I realized what I was. I become so scared I let it run my life."  
"What you are?" He stepped aside and let Tamaki enter the house. They stayed by the door though.

"Yea, you know...I would hear about the battles going on in New York over being gay, and I just didn't want to accept it. I'm sorry, I know it was something we talked about before I left but still the thought of being abandoned by my family just got the best of me. I mean I know you said you would figure out a way to make it all work out but.."

"Tamaki, I..."

"You lost everything because of me, and I figured since you were on business, life was going well for you and I just didn't want to have you lose it all over again."  
Neither spoke, nor moved, deep in thought.

"Kyouya can you forgive me, forgive all I've done to you...if nothing else can we be friends?"

When Kyouya said nothing after a minute, Tamaki turned to leave. Kyouya grabbed his wrist and pulled them closer, allowing their lips to meet.

The anger, pain, that hole in both their chests closed up and washed away. The love they both shared resurfaced, spreading over them both. When they broke apart Kyouya smiled, "I guess this means your forgiven." Tamaki's face brightened to be consumed by a giant smile. One that had been hidden for so long. They walked into the living room, a lot had to be said. But, they had time for that for they had each other. Now and forever.

That night Tamaki sat by the window sill in his old room. Looking up at the sky. Kyouya went downstairs for a moment. Tamaki's iPod sat hooked up to the stereo playing a band he listened to in N.Y.  
"Who is this? This doesn't sound like something you would like."  
Tamaki looked to see Kyouya walk in holding a tray of something.

"Daughtry, I heard about them oversees and haven't been able to get enough."  
Kyouya sat across from him and listened as the next song started playing.

_I'm staring out into the night,_

_Trying to hide the pain._

_I'm going to the place where I love _

_And feeling good don't ever cost a thing. _

_And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain._

_Well I'm going home, _

_Back to the place where I belong,_

_And where your love has always been enough for me. _

_I'm not running from._

_No, I think you got me all wrong._

_I don't regret this life I chose for me._

_But these places and these faces are getting old, _

_So I'm going home._

_Well I'm going home._

"I can see why you like him. It's very good." He reached across and grabbed Tamaki's hand that was sitting on his lap. He intertwined their fingers. "I love you."  
Tamaki smiled as he tightened his grip, "I love you too."

0o0o0o

Well it's over...sob, sob...It's so sad....I may add a few side things to this story so keep your eyes peeled. And let me know what you thought. The songs used were Daughtry's 'home' and Shinedown's 'call me'

Thanks for all the love.

~Femalefighter~


	8. Epilogue

Chapter 8

**Epilogue**

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!

Tamaki stood in front of the mirror, fixing his tie. He wasn't going to lie, he was a little nervous.

"Are you ready yet, your going to be late."  
"Yea I'm coming," He forced his hands to stop shaking and finish up. He grabbed his coat and walked out the door, Kyouya following behind. The sky was clear, the sun broke through the clouds, after two days of rain. Everything shimmered though, for it created such warmth around them.

They got out of the car, Tamaki looked at the large building where hundreds were waiting. He took a deep breath as he stepped forward and went inside. Annie-Sophie stood by the side door where everyone was waiting.  
"Are you sure your ready to do this?"  
"Yes, I'll be fine."  
"Okay then, Kyouya and I will stay back here to watch, you have our support on this, remember that."  
"Thanks mom." He hugged her then opened the door, he walked to the side of the stage until he was welcomed in.

"With no further a do, I would like to welcome Tamaki Suoh as today's guest speaker." He inhaled again as he walked on stage and smiled. The room filled with applause and waiting eyes. He grabbed the podium ends to help stand tall. He could do this, he had to.  
"Three years ago, I sat where you are now. I was a Sophomore in highschool as some of you are now. My grades were top of the class, I was the president of a very successful host club. Some saw my life as perfect, and maybe at times it was. But after my families decision to relocate me to a foreign country it felt as if my world was slipping out from under me. I told no one of what was going on. I kept it locked away, all my pain, sorrow, the truth. I thought that by keeping everyone in the dark I would be helping them and myself by not letting them worry about me. For me it was very hard to let people see my tears no matter how close we were. He looked out over the crowd, his nerves were settling. "I let my secrets take control and I made some stupid mistakes that nearly killed me. I know there is someone here right now that has thought of or is cutting up their body so this is for you. Stop! Talk to your best friend, your lover, talk to me, talk to anyone. Just stop, it's not worth it. Not only did I nearly die, and I mean that, it was very bad for me. My wounds got infected causing me to get very sick and from that my heart stopped. I got lucky as the doctors were able to revive me, but I never want to put my friends and family through that again, and I know you don't want to either. My hand is forever affected. I have trouble getting dressed, doing things I have loved doing for years, like playing the piano, and writing anything in my right hand is nearly impossible. If you know me then you know I am right handed because I am half Japanese, my penmanship will never be the same." He let go of the podium and stepped back. Removing his coat to roll back his sleeves, grabbing the mic off the podium he walked to the students. He exposed his arm to them, let them see the scars that would never really go away. He showed them to prove his words and experiences were true. "I may have these scars forever, but they will never be as bad as the memories. I tried to commit suicide twice all because I kept pushing away the people that cared for me. I don't want anyone to follow in my footsteps. Take charge of your life and live it to the fullest! And when you have a day you need to explode then explode!" He went back to the stage to lean against it. "Tomorrow I have centers opening up all over France and Japan, I plan to open more all over the world, these centers will be here for you to go to or call anytime of day. If you need to escape your world for a while or you want to talk to a staff member that has been in your shoes then come by. We all know what you are talking about every staff member has been affected by depression. Let's stop depression here, before it claims another life. Yes I know that road that we face won't be easy but together we can get through it. I was able to swim in the heavy current and you can too. The future may scare you, but don't let it. I know, I sit in my bed some nights and think if I will go back to hiding in the dark, if one day it will get so bad it ends my life. But then I look at the one I love and the struggles we have been through already and that fear goes away, knowing that we can handle whatever comes our way." He stood up tall, his eyes focused on everyone in the room. "Depression can effect everyone, it doesn't matter what color your skin is, what race you are, your social class, gender, education, religion, sexual preference for no one is safe. It could be one event in your life or a bunch to cause it. If you are willing now to learn symptoms and help those that need it then you are one step ahead of it." He stopped for a moment before taking a box off one of the chair. He passed out fliers with information about the center and ways to contact him directly. "I don't care what time it may be if you need someone to talk to and you feel odd talking to my staff then talk to me. I already consider everyone in this room a friend of mine, and I will always help my friends the way my friends helped me."

When he was done the room applauded and he smiled brightly, he hoped he impacted at least one persons life for the better. Kyouya and Annie-Sophie walked out from backstage and stood near him as students and staff walked up to Tamaki to talk and ask questions. He felt so good to talk about his past and expose his scars. He was no longer ashamed of them. He accepted his past and all that happened, helping him to move on with his head held high.

Once the students had to go back to class he stood with Kyouya for a few minutes while Annie-Sophie talked to the dean of the school. She apparently was friendly with her using that friendship to help set this all up.  
"Tamaki, you never told me you still had trouble with your hand, and when did you attempt suicide again?" He was anxious, he hoped he wasn't still hiding anything from him, he thought they moved past keeping important secrets.

"Well we have only been together again for a week or so and it hasn't really dawned on my, I mean, yes it is hard to use my hand to get dressed and if I play the piano a lot it hurts to the point of tears...the piano I had in New York hadn't been touched since the week after I got it. But, I've gotten use to it. My handwriting has improve greatly in my left hand when I'm writing French or English and well you heard...Japanese in my left still needs...work. It's okay though because when I look at it I know it's a reminder of my actions and I need to make sure I never let it happen again. As for the second attempt...I just didn't want you to worry about that, my mistake, I'm sorry. It was the day you came to get me to go back to Japan, after you left I realized my mistake and I grabbed an old samurai sword I had in my office. It was still sharp so I planned to stab myself in the vital organs so it would be fatal. My housekeeper was upstairs still after she walked you in and stopped me right before it really touched my skin. I was able to not break skin." He smiled as he wrapped his left arm around Kyouya's waist, "It's okay now though, because all my old fears are gone, there will never be a thought for a third attempt."  
Kyouya forced a smile back at Tamaki even though he was upset for making him even consider a second one, if that housekeeper hadn't been there then Tamaki wouldn't be with him here in France. He would be at a funeral in New York. He was going to say something but Annie-Sophie walked back to them, "Kyouya are you ready to go, we have to go to City hall still to make the change official." He nodded and broke away from Tamaki.  
"Make what official?"  
"Oh René did I forget to tell you? After you went to America I told Kyouya that I would go through the paperwork to make him my adopted son, so he could officially drop Ootori from his name like he wished. He had told me all that happened with his family and since I already considered him like another son of mine I decided to do it. So with help from his sister we went through the process and finally we are ready to finish it."

"Is that okay Tamaki, this is the main reason I wanted to come to France as soon as we were able so this could be taken care of, that and I knew your mother wanted to see you again after all that time a part." Kyouya looked at him, a little worried about his reaction.

"This is so exciting!" He grabbed Kyouya's hand and started to run to the door to go outside.  
"Tamaki!" Kyouya couldn't believe how much Tamaki was back to his old self. It was exciting to see what future they had coming. Tamaki stopped running when they got outside, Annie-Sophie came out shortly after still laughing. Tamaki dropped Kyouya's hand. Before Kyouya could say anything he noticed Tamaki had something serious on his mind.  
"Kyouya, instead of going to city hall to gain my mother's name, why not take mine instead?"  
"Tamaki what are you saying?"  
"Let's be together, till death do we part. Let's make it so no one can take us from each other because I know I can't be with anyone but you." He took both of Kyouya's hands in his own and locked eyes so they could both look into each others souls. "What do you say will you be Mr. Kyouya Suoh? Annie-Sophie hugged Tamaki as Kyouya's mouth dropped. He never expected this. "Oh I'm so happy for you both!" She was over joyed but let go of Tamaki as he waited for an answer. "Kyouya, what do you say?" Kyouya focused on the ground in hopes to stop his eyes from crying, old habits died hard. "Yes Tamaki, I will." Tamaki grabbed Kyouya in tight embrace, "That's so good to hear," He let go and with his old self in control he pointed in the direction of town hall. "Then let's go!"

It took awhile to get all the paper work in order and to convince the current staff that it had to be made official today as soon as possible. Before they knew it they were able to get a judge whom they stood in front of. Annie-Sophie was their witness. Someone from her house was brought over to record the ceremony.

While it wasn't the traditional wedding he had always planned on it didn't matter. He was happy knowing that at the end of the day he would still hold Kyouya's heart, like Kyouya held his. "I love you." He whispered across the gap where the other stood. "I love you, too." was whispered back.  
"You are officially married, may nothing tear you apart. Tamaki you may kiss Kyouya." Tamaki grabbed his hands and moved forward their lips to lock. Kyouya quickly over powered him, removing their hands so he could support Tamaki's back and not fear of dropping him.

That night they stared out over the hotel's balcony, watching the sun set. They rented a room in Cannes for the night. It took them awhile to get on a flight down from Paris but it was worth it.  
"When do you start working for Hiroshi?"  
"Whenever I'm ready, I'm thinking about going to school for a degree and then joining him. Maybe do some internship work for him on the side before then."  
"That sounds good, once we are back in Japan I'm going to study to become a counselor since I can't really give advice to anyone at the centers."  
"How did you get the funding for them exactly?"  
"My father, I brought up the idea and he agreed to help, the school he was opening in New York is being turned into a center now as well. The town stopped protesting."  
"That's good to hear."  
"Yes it is, Elizabeth is going to help with it as well."  
"How did she take you leaving?" Tamaki stopped for a moment and thought about it. Finding the perfect words.  
"She took it pretty well I guess, I just told her that while I appreciated all she did for me, I just didn't feel the same towards her as she did for me and that I was staying in Japan. She said some unladylike things but she agreed to help me so I guess she isn't too upset at me." Both started laughing at this, Kyouya never really liked Elizabeth she seemed to desperate, always trying to make others jealous, and scared someone would take him away from her.

Both stared at the water again. Tamaki grabbed Kyouya's hand and kissed his cheek until he could reach his lips. Their love for each other passing through them.  
"Tamaki, what do you say to us following the tradition you were raised one?" He whispered in his ear.  
"What are you talking..." it suddenly dawned on him and he mouthed the word "oh". His face turned red but he agreed. Kyouya led them inside. Today was the day they would never forget as it was the happiest day of their lives.  
"I love you Tamaki Suoh."  
"I love you, Kyouya Suoh."

With that Tamaki was gently pushed on the bed.

The end

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

_Okay so this technically ends this story. For you see as I was writing the last chapter I couldn't help but feel as I was ending it too soon. I want to clear up something for I feel it has been missed. While I loved writing Kyouya and Tamaki together that wasn't the point of the story. I wrote Seeing me Smile to bring up depression, and I know I got off track with it a little as that story continue and so I tried bringing it back up in this one but I feel it was still over looked. But depression is the main issue in both stories. Also, I am re-creating this story in hopes to get it turned into a novel. All updates on it's progress and information on my works can be followed at __.com/site//_

_If the link doesn't work here then go to my page it's my webpage link. Thanks again for all the support and making this a story that will forever be in my heart. Love you all._

_~Femalefighter~_


	9. Alternate Ending

**Alternate Ending**

**Author's Note-**This takes place from Chapter 3 on. I was thinking about making this the official ending but changed my mind. I know many of you will be glad I did.

**Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

Kyouya laid back on the bed, it felt nice to be on the ground again. He didn't hate flying nor was he scared of it but he always felt better once he was where he needed to go. He wasn't sure if he had much time to relax or if he had to go with Hiroshi anywhere. He was in the adjacent room, giving both men space and privacy and the closeness to say they were here for business. Kyouya got up slowly when he heard him knocking.  
"We can't do anything until tomorrow so feel free to do as you please until then. How good is your English?"  
"I should be okay on my own." He had learned enough while he was still living at home. His father had made sure all his sons could speak English so he wouldn't have to worry about them screwing him over, because of misunderstanding between languages.  
"Good to hear, then I'll see you tomorrow around 9."  
"Tomorrow at 9. Okay."

He stood by the door for a moment before walking back to the bed with his laptop in tow. He had no idea how Hiroshi was allowed to marry Fuyumi. He was relaxed, easy going. When he was first introduced to him he seemed so strict, and hardworking, not like he was now. He must really love his sister to go through the act. Well whatever the cause was it didn't really matter, this just made it easier for him to look around for signs of Tamaki. He flipped on the flat screen, searching for something to just be background noise. Local news was starting, that was perfect. They were talking about some scandal with a local politician. He stared back at his monitor for a moment, unsure where to start. He had no real leads to follow. He had looked into all private and public schools in the area around where the new school was being built with no mention of his name. Was he searching the wrong thing? He did a search in the local news databases on the new school.

*Bingo*

The net was filled with articles about it, must didn't look good.  
"Stories in the next half hour. Top trends at half the cost, sports with Scott Clark, and after the break continuing coverage about the protests surrounding the new private school set to open next fall on the Upper East Side." His head shot to the T.V. Just missing the little clip. He had only been in New York for a few hours and he may have already found what he couldn't back in Japan. The guilt of waiting so long crept back up. His lame excuses for not coming sooner. He had been stupid for letting the fear of rejection hold him back.

He scanned a few articles while the commercials rolled. They all said about the same thing. _Yuzuru Suoh, head of the Suoh line in Japan is causing a stir in New York. Protests started after talk of a new school became slated to open in the Upper East Side. The area will have to be zoned to handle a traffic increase. Local residents aren't happy with the new building for the land had been promised as a local playground. One resident who wished to stay unknown stated, "We already have three public school which are over crowded, and two private schools in the area we don't need another private school, we need more public so our children can get the proper education." _

Kyouya had stopped reading as the news came back on. So far he wasn't happy with what he was learning. Not surprised that even in America people were being angered. He knew the decision to spread Ouran out of Japan wasn't Yuzuru's. He had mentioned a few times that he traveled enough with hotel management and never planned on branching out unless Tamaki requested such a thing. No matter where she went people hated her, whether they knew it or not. "That woman is the devil in human form."

Kyouya kept one eye on the TV as he searched the web, digging deeper he knew he was close to finding what he wanted. Yuzuru was standing in the center of a podium in front of the closed school. He talked about not allowing the protests to set back the schools plans. Also that this school would help prepare others for life unlike the others that were designed for a specific field or around religion. Kyouya wasn't paying too much attention to what he said, for it didn't affect him much. Once he got Tamaki back to Japan with him this whole school thing could be pushed behind them.

There he was again thinking about when. When Tamaki came back, when he found out, when, when, when. He had no right to think when, only if. If Tamaki was found, if he wanted to go back. He had no right to assume Tamaki would go back.

As he tried to focus on the speech Yuzuru gave he noticed Tamaki wasn't there. He found it strange that he wouldn't be there. Could he really not be in New York? The note he was given said he left with his father. Maybe he was out West more. Kyouya had to talk to Yuzuru, he hadn't seen him in two years really. He was hardly at Ouran and when he was Kyouya was engaged in something. Last week he attended the graduation but left as soon as it ended. Kyouya could only guess it was to come here. He had to find out where the school was exactly. He finished browsing the article he was reading, nothing. Searching for a few more he kept coming up short. He was running out of time, giving up he wrote down where Yuzuru was and ran out of the room, happy Hiroshi hired a car for them to use while they were here.

When the car pulled up Yuzuru was still talking. Kyouya quickly got out and walked to the side, the press was in the way but he could still watch him. As Yuzuru finished speaking he moved closer.  
"Chairman!" Yuzuru looked up and saw Kyouya walking to him. He was surprised to see him here, of all places.  
"Kyouya, what brings you here? How have you been?" He led the way to his waiting car.  
"I'm here on business, I thought that since I was in the area I would see how things were going here. I see people still haven't accepted the idea."  
"Soon, I think the idea of the school will change, and that will change the idea of many." They got into the car, Yuzuru sat across from Kyouya. "I don't think Tamaki would mind if I changed the idea, no, I think he would have approved."  
"Sir?" Yuzuru looked at Kyouya, realizing what words escaped his lips.  
"Forgive me, it has been a while. I will take you to him. I'm done hiding everyone from the truth. You need to know that has happened."  
He told the driver something as he reached for his briefcase.

When they stopped driving so had Kyouya's heart.  
"I would have contacted you sooner but I felt I should respect my sons wishes. Please note, that I am very sorry." He handed Kyouya a piece of paper, forcing him to tear his eyes away from the car window.

_Father,_

_Please don't don't be sad for me, I know you may be upset but it's better this way. For you see, I can't go back but I can no longer stand the pain of moving forward. All I ask of you is to tell no one. I would tell not even you but I know you would find out some way. Mother can never know, for even thinking of the pain and sorrow it would cause, it too much to bear. I want you both to know I love you. I am sorry, good-bye father._

_Tamaki_

Slowly Kyouya handed the paper back to him. He couldn't speak, his breathing had to be forced. Yuzuru stuck it in his pocket as he got out of the car. Kyouya slowly moved himself to leave the vehicle and follow Yuzuru. "I ask that you don't tell Annie-Sophie, for I must agree with my son, this would overwhelm her, and in state her body may not handle it."

He was already shaking when they stopped.  
"When...How?" He forced himself to speak, forcing himself to not believe what was right in front of him.  
"Last year, in the fall. He was found by the housekeeper. Slit his throat while watching the sunset. According to her it was where he always stood at night." He stopped, he couldn't continue, the memory to painful. He turned away, facing the car. "I'll be in the car, take your time." Kyouya could say nothing, do nothing, it seemed as everything had gone dark.

His knees buckled under him, unable to support his weight. He pressed his forehead against the cold granite, letting his sorrow spill over as he allowed the truth to settle in. From his position he saw in engraved picture in the corner, slowly he moved his hand over it, as if he was caressing he face. He couldn't understand why. Why did it have to come to this? Why didn't he go back? He would have been welcomed back.

"Tamaki, I don't understand this, why? What happened to make you think that _this_ was the best solution? I'm sorry I couldn't help you, I'm sorry I wasn't here, I'm sorry I waited so long to follow because if I hadn't then maybe you would still be here. I hope you can forgive me. I hope you aren't in pain anymore. I hope wherever you are, you are smiling." his voice was barely above an audible whisper.

He couldn't get the tears to stop, the pain his chest wouldn't decrease. The pain of knowing he was gone forever was for worse then any rejection could have been. The pain of never saying good-bye, of saying how sorry he truly was, over whelmed him. His hands let go of the stone and fell to the earth supporting his head. He closed his eyes, trying to picture Tamaki below him. He could see every detail in his face, see his hair as perfect as ever. His smile, it was small but, peaceful.  
"Tamaki, I'm sorry, I love you, now and forever." He sat up on his knees for a moment before standing up. He made his way to the car.

Before he headed to his flight to go back to Japan he stood one last time at his nightmare. He pulled out his wallet to take out a picture he always carried with him. One Tamaki had made them take together on their first day of starting High school. The words he had spoken then echoed his mind.  
"Let's take one when we graduate, one with all the members of our family." Back then he didn't get what he was saying, but now those words made perfect sense, he smiled as slightly as ever.  
"So you never forget the family you left behind." He placed the picture that he had laminated to last forever at the base. He placed a weighted stone on top so it wouldn't move. Before he left for the car he placed two silk roses on top. A red and blue, tied at the steams so they could never be separated. He headed to the car, stopping half way to get one last look.

Suoh, Tamaki

Beloved Son and Friend

April 8,1990-September 22, 2006

You will be forever missed.

"Good-bye Tamaki."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

_This again was one ending I planned but for many reasons didn't follow through with it. The years and days are odd I know. In the manga I didn't see a day or year of Tamaki's birth so I used the fact that he is an Aries and then just picked a day that sounded good with 1990...[my b-day year :)] The second year is the year he died if he was 16 so it would be 2007 for Kyouya. Just in case any of you are confused by any of it. Okay so I'm officially done with this story. And this chapter made me cry, once while writing, then twice while I was typing. Sooo sad.. the pictures in my mind were making it really hard to write. ANYWAY Time for it as a novel. :)_

_~Femalefighter~_


End file.
